Open Wounds
by Hawksky
Summary: Songfic. Spike reflects on his feeling for Buffy.


**hi guys :) i didn't die...**

**Clan of Love Readers who saw this was a different category but was shocked enough that I'm alive they decided to read the author's note cause they think i better have a explanation and are getting bored with this impossibly long title: i will try to update, just understand i have a new obsession, am a procrastinator, love you all, and totally fail :3**

**To other people who did/didn't laugh when they saw the very long title for the other people and are (hopefully) thinking they like me so far and might just review when they read the story...?: hi! so, i have fallen into the trap of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and is now completely and utterly obsessed with it and Spuffy.** **When I listened to this song, I instinctively listened to the lyrics to see if it matched Spuffy (yes, I am that obsessed) and saw it does! here's the result! Warning: its mostly just about Spike, there's no Spuffiness on Buffy's side, sadly. I might write a fanfic/oneshot with them together, I don't know...**

**Disclaimer: I FRIGGEN HATE THESE. anyway, BtVS belongs to Joss Whedon Open Wounds is by Skillet blah blah blah...**

_In the dark with the music on  
Wishing I was somewhere else  
Taking all your anger out on me, somebody help  
I would rather rot alone  
Then spend a minute with you  
I'm gone, I'm gone_

Spike sat, hands on his head, trying not to think about _her_. It was impossible, of course. The bloody woman was in every thought, every movement, every comment. She was driving him mad. He knew she hated him, and she let out all her anger and feelings on him. And yet he loved her, so completely, so utterly. It tore him apart to listen to her rage against him.

The door to the crypt slammed open. It seemed to do that a lot. _She _came in. Her light blonde hair was bouncing around her shoulders, her greens eyes, usually so soft, turned harder than diamonds at the sight of him, another sign she hated him.  
_And you can't stop me from falling apart  
'Cause my self-destruction is all your fault_

He didn't bother to get up, knowing when he did that beautiful image will be screaming words of hate against him. He felt like she was tearing him apart, and he was letting her. Always the Slayer's lapdog...  
_How could you, how could you, how could you hate me?  
When all I ever wanted to be was you?  
How could you, how could you, how could you love me?  
When all you ever gave me were open wounds?_

"Get up" Her voice demanded. He did so, he would do anything for her. Why did she hate him? He wanted love, nothing else. Then again, how could she love him? That one crumb he'd begged of her so long ago couldn't be there if she proved she hated him all these times.  
_Downstairs the enemy sleeps  
Leaving the TV on  
Watching all the dreams we had turn into static  
Doesn't matter what I do  
Nothing's gonna change  
I'm never good enough_  
_And you can't stop me from falling apart  
'Cause my self-destruction is all your fault_  
_How could you, how could you, how could you hate me?  
__When all I ever wanted to be was you?  
How could you, how could you, how could you love me?  
When all you ever gave me were open wounds?_

Spike turned off the TV he hadn't really been watching anyway. He knew she probably just needed him to fight some demon, she never came to him for anything else. Nothing seemed to change.

"New demon, love?" He asked.

"I'm not your 'love'. You're nothing to me." Her words stung. Why didn't he just get used to it, already? The woman he loved sighed.

"New demon." She confirmed. "Brown, around six feet tall, obsession for gold things **(A/N: I made up a demon :3 I shall call him Mr Fail.)**. Heard of it?"  
_Tell me why you broke me down and betrayed my trust in you  
I'm not giving up, giving in when will this war end?  
When will it end?_

Spike didn't answer. He just looked at her, loving her. Her fiery spirit, never give up attitude, dazzling beauty, and the love she seemed to show every man but him. But then, he wasn't a man, was he?

"Spike." She snapped. "Did you hear anything I said?"

"Yeah. Gold obsession? I'll ask around. Haven't heard anything yet."

"Right." She turned, heading back to the badly beaten door, not even saying goodbye.

"Buffy?"

She stopped. "What now Spike?"

"Is this all I am to you? A source of information?"

"No." She faced him, looking straight into his eyes. "You're worse." With that, she left.  
Y_ou can't stop me from falling apart _

_You can't stop me from falling apart _

_You can't stop me from falling apart  
'Cause my self-destruction is all your fault._  
_How could you, how could you, how could you hate me?  
When all I ever wanted to be was you?  
How could you, how could you, how could you love me?  
When all you ever gave me were open wounds?_

Spike sat down heavily on his dusty couch. That woman was going to be the end for him.

**What did you think o my first Buffy fanfic? If it fails or if you loved it, please review. **

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**\/**


End file.
